I haven't felt this crappy in a loong time

idk if it's from guy drama or what

I just wanna forget about it

I need a guy who can help me forget about this stupid drama

WHO WANTS TO DATE ME?
(guys only)

ahahahaha

yeah, I so feel like shit, I have no idea what's wrong with me, I just need a hug that involves a good thousand people

e-hug plz?

A 15 year old sophomore that I hardly know just asked me out, and i'm 17, and a senior

yay or nay?

plus I like this other guy, so yeah, idk

I slow danced with him yesterday at the dance, he's totally acting like he likes me again.

we were popping balloons with my heels xD

I KNOW I'M JUST NATURALLY HILARIOUS

...not

and he was being all suicidal and stuff on friday because he got taken to the police station for a really retarted reason and couldn't go to the game, so I had to knock him out of that

(he's not really suicidal, he was just upset)

but idk about this other girl, he has her as his second friend on myspace, while i'm his 6th, but idk if he did that intentionally...i've been his sixth for like...ever.

but yeah, and there was this bad news freshman who wanted to dance with me, but I didn't, I told someone to tell him to leave me alone

what's with all these guys hitting on me all of a sudden?

and I got my hair cut and colored today...haven't had it cut in over a year

so yeah

well omg guess what

HE'S BI AGAIN

....


isn't this the most confusing person you haven't officially met?

last week he was totally denying that he was ever bi and now he is again

he says he wants to ask out this one girl, but i'm kinda thinking that he's just trying to make me jealous...or not...I have no idea...because he might still like me, and I kinda wish he still does

BUT ANYWAY

the problem is, once he revealed to me that he wants to ask out this other girl, I just got so freaking jealous, it's not even funny. I LIKE HIM..THIS IS PROBLEMATIC.. I don't WANT to like him but I do...ugh why must this happen to me? I KNOW he does bad things but it doesn't make the feelings go away I kinda wish they would. ugh, this is so messed up...

I got asked to homecoming by this other guy who's a friend of mine, and it's so fricken awkward, I told him as friends, but still, it's just SO AWKWARD. I don't really even want to go to the dance...bleh...and I was like so depressed on sunday because I knew I probably wouldn't get ask, then, low and behold, he asks me......ugh every guy in this school is ugly except for like...5%...I am dead serious

I just want to find some awesome guy so I can just forget this high school crap...but that's NOT REALLY HAPPENING

bleh

save meeeee

heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

in case you're interested, I don't think that guy likes me anymore....now he's all saying he's gay and stuff again


and i'm just like YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE, BE THAT WAY YOU sOUFISYEVBRISUHEDR

he makes no sense what-so-ever

UGH

anyway

it feels like there's 4 guys pulling me in 4 different directions right now

first, this guy, who's an emotional train wreck

then there's the guy I used to like, who I thought I was over, but just found out i'm not

then there's this other guy who works at the grocery store

and then there's this other guy who goes to my church

so idk what to do, who to go after, and yeah

i'm SO TIRED

and i'm just so sick of having this lonely feeling, and especially after this guy just drops me like i'm hot for some other idiot...

and he totally lied to my face yesterday, he said he was smoking weed with pages of the bible (which I found very offensive) and my friend was like "if you don't believe in God, then WHY do you have a bible?" and he came up with some lame excuse

and I was just like OHHH YEAH, YOU GOT PWND
he pisses me off a lot
and I just realized recently that there's never been any pictures of him WITH his "supposed boyfriends"

HMM who wants to guess how many times he's lied about that

like one time he said he got laid like 3 times before school one day

I was like "PFF HA YEAH RIGHT" because come on, that's not even realistic

but yeah, the guy who goes to my church is like, in college, so idk if he'd even like me, but i'm like friends with his sister(s) but mostly the one who's my age.

I just feel....so lame

and i'm taking 3 college classes this year, plus 3 other classes

yaay i'm a senior

hmm what else is new

I failed my drivers test twice, take it again next thursday, and if I fail it again, then I HAVE to renew my temps......which is more money

so I REALLY hope I get it, because I keep missing the bus and interfering with the work of my mom and bro

and my "best friend" is being weird lately...
k I like can't 'even pay attention to what i'm writing

so I should probably go to bed

laterz <3

SO

he admitted he likes me, but not to me

he still doesn't know that I know

but anyway, he started getting intimate with this guy who he thought was his soul mate, while I was away at camp, and he was going to propose to this guy (fricken stupid, I know)

then right after, the guy said he likes someone else

so mr. mopey gets all depressed and complains to me, broken hearted, and i'm like, w/e

BEFORE THAT
and MY FRIEND TOLD HIM "dude, you are so fricken stupid, dumping *me* for this guy" cuz she was the one he told he liked me

and he thinks she's a bitch now (probably because she was right that he was crazy for proposing to this dude)

SO now it's pretty much like I don't exist to him...I still don't know if he even likes me (i'm guessing, but I don't know), and he hardly talks to me anymore

probably because I told him on tuesday/monday that "relationships aren't all about sex" and he thinks they are, and I pretty much told him that I think he's lied to me, and apparently he hasn't, but yet i'm pretty sure he has, so he's probably pissed off at me for accusing him

i'm just so damn confused, AGAIN, why can't he just tell me he likes me? i'll probably turn him down because he's the exact OPPOSITE of what I want, I mean he drinks, smokes, probably does drugs, it's just not right

i mean what the hell, why do I always get the messed up people in my life?